A Web of Silken Threads

A friend just casually mentioned that he didn't believe in the ability of words to move a person to tears, i.e. me. I thought about it and realized that he might actually be right. Words contain meaning, but they would be meaningless unless you could identify with what they are trying to convey. A common experience, a common emotion, a common situation. That's how people connect on deeper levels anyways. Through reading other people's experiences, emotions and thoughts put into words, I realized bit by bit how similar we all actually are. The other person may be a complete stranger, but yet, upon reading entries that you can identify with, there's this urge to reach out to the person and say, "I know how that feels, I've felt that way before too.."

It's like a silken web of threads, so fine and normally unnoticed by those who don't take the time to look, but yet so strong that pulling on one heartstring inevitably pulls at the millions it is connected to around the world. The beauty of it all is that it sends a simple message to everyone out there that, you're never alone in this world, no matter how bad an experience may seem to be, someone else knows how it feels too, and there's someone out there who can possibly understand what you're going through.

That thought is somehow reassuring for me, it makes me realize that the world is so much bigger than ourselves and our little problems that seem disastrous at the moment. Sometimes maybe we should just close our eyes, realize how lucky we are and appreciate what we have. When you see the world in a new light with clearer eyes, you'll realize life is simple after all..

It's really humbling, try it =)

Thoughts on Family..

Hi all!

Firstly let me wish everyone and their families Happy Chinese New Year!!

Today was a rather tiring day, as all CNY Day Ones usually are.. Besides my recent constant late nights(my own fault I admit), the nausea from my motion sickness during every single car ride today and the discomfort of a bursting tummy... It made me reflect about how much family means to me =)

During the dec hols.. I realized how important my family was to me, and last sem, I tried to spend as much time as possible with my mum and my grandma.. Love them a lot and they've sacrificed so much for me. On Saturday when we went to pay respects to my late grandfather, I couldn't help but let the waterworks flow again.. I miss him so much and I wish he was still here with us.. Sure there are times when I'm absolutely annoyed with them, but that's all part of being family right? I read somewhere in the sweetest book my mum gave me for vday which says. "The great value of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you." so true! And on a daily basis, we always seem to take them for granted and don't notice the things they do for us, but at crucial moments when it matters, they are still always there..

Btw Oacians.. that is how I feel about the bond we formed and shared.. that you guys are people I would never have initated conversation with.. And I miss you guys! I'm always afraid we'll drift apart... Hopefully it's just the busy school term...

I am slowly learning to appreciate my family more and more now... Seeing that my grandfather is so ill, and something my grandma said, it makes me realize how scary it is to be in a world where both your parents have passed on, and you're old.. Imagine if you don't have any filial children or loved ones around.. it's so completely scary.. It makes me want to give my grandmother more love than ever.. Now as a 'kid', we know that we always have our mothers/fathers/grandparents to turn to for unconditional love.. some people can turn to their friends.. but what about those who can't? It's really a frightening concept that I have trouble grasping and am happily choosing to ignore now.. I'll be interested to know what other people think about this!

On a different note, it was refreshing to meet my relatives today! I rarely see them, and it's real nice to catch up.. All my cousins are growing up and changing so much as well.. talking to them always surprises me! And I learn that the world is a small place as well, haha, well, at least Singapore is a small place.. Somehow everyone seems to know everyone =P

Ah well.. I love CNY in general.. the whole atmosphere n mood is so festive and homey.. but.. the food.. is... making me fat.. I gotta go running when back in hall man.. running at night is awesome.. anyone up for a run? slow.. nice... long... run... hahahaha.... burn off the pineapple tarts... ba kwa... etc etc... I think my tummy's feeling kinda funny... needa stop putting so much food into it... haha..

Ok.. relatives coming over tomorrow.. gotta go to bed... nights everyone, and happy cny once more =D

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hi all!

Yes I haven't been posting...

Fell sick and recovered and somehow became more high than usual...

Had great loads of fun over the last week...

Once again.. my perceptions have changed...

This year, I've decided to embrace hall life and socialize more.. yes something did happen to cause this.. haha.. isn't it always cause and effect =D anyways, made me put things into a little bit more perspective.. I'm still figuring this out yet i guess.. so.. yeah...

Also.. today I was talking to a friend who's happily married, and we were discussing relationship views... He was telling me that at our age, uni, hall, army period.. it's when we grow the most, and change the most... People always b*tch about people who supposedly break couples up.. but my friend gave me a different perspective.. what if the couple, though they've been together for so many years, just changed? and realized they want different things in life, and that the person they are with, may not be the one suitable for the future? Then I guess there's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else because you yourself just changed.. Nothing to do with infidelity or whatever..

I think with all that I've been through, I will never judge a relationship too harshly... it's an area with too much grey and uncertainty.. and unless you don't know the whole story, it just aint fair to judge. All the gossip and what people think they know clouds judgement... so I am resolving to try and keep that in mind..

Another thing my friend said was about timing.. Haha, I believe in fate.. But i don't believe it works alone.. I believe fate brings 2 people together, and gives them the opportunity to get to know one another.. But if it's not the right time.. then.. it won't work.. If no effort is put in, it won't work either... 2 people may like each other so much.. but.. wrong point of time in your life, will also cause problems.. Looking at my state, I wonder whether fate is mocking me.. haha...

I just realized today that I still have so much to learn about myself and what I want.. I thought I knew.. but apparently not... I guess I try to be in control, but there's only that much you really can control after all..

My friend told me that actually, he could have gotten to know his wife many years earlier.. they unknowingly crossed paths so often when they were young, but were never presented the opportunity to interact.. And he said that if they were given that chance, they probably would not have had that great impressions of each other at that point of time in their respective lives.. haha.. it's amazing how such things work..

ANYWAYS... Another purpose of this post is to post up a song I played on the guitar.. without my singing so that the music is not spoilt =P ahahaa...

CBlk 3rd floor girls would probably know this song since I'm always playing it..

My favourite song to play on the guitar!

It's called Two Voices, One Song...

And it's dedicated to all those who mean the world to me =) you all know who you are!

Thank you for making my life so far such a beautiful experience, thank you for making my life easier and more comforting and adding colour to it every single day.

To me the meaning of this song is that we are all individuals, and though we may be interesting, we are never as harmonious and beautiful as a song until we're all together.. There's just magic, and that magic to me is your friendship =))

This is just to let you all know that you'll always have a friend in me and that no matter how long how far how late how seeming stupid how early how petty how wtver etc etc, I will always be there for you!!!

Love you all *heart*

p.s. hopefully one day I get good enough to sing and play nicely enough to dare post it online =P

here are the lyrics!

So rare to find a friend like you
Somehow when you're around the sky is always blue
The way you talk
The things you say
The way you make it all ok
And how you know
All of my jokes
But you laugh anyway...

Chorus:

If I could wish for one thing
I take the smile that you bring
Wherever you go in this world I'll come along
Together we dream the same dream
Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me
Oh ooh oh
Two voices, one song

Now everyday there's something new,

And every path we take,

I'm looking forward to,

The way we try and never quit,

The way that all the pieces fit,

The way we know the parts by heart,

And sing out loud..

If I could wish for one thing
I take the smile that you bring
Wherever you go in this world I'll come along
Together we dream the same dream
Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me
Oh ooh oh
Two voices, one song

And anywhere you are you know I'll be around
And when you call my name I'll listen for the sound

If I could wish for one thing
I take the smile that you bring
With you at my side I can't go wrong,

Now I have all that I need,

And the sweetest sound will always be
Oh ooh oh
Two voices, one song

Oh ooh oh
Two voices, one song

*************************************************

Btw, this is a Barbie song.. from the Barbie animated movie "Barbie and the Diamond Castle". Thanks to lonelythoughts on youtube for the chords!

Haha.. may seem childish.. but really.. the songs and the stories in all the movies are beautiful.. really well thought out and well written.. lovely.. just.. not widely publicized so most people probably won't know.. especially people our age.. teehee...

Okie, gotta sign off and stuff myself with more pineapple tarts.. fatty fatty bom bom!

Nights!

Without Wax

Hi all,

Well I've been unbelievably behind all my readings, but at least im still awake for lectures and tutorials! Today's Ages of the Mediterranean lecture was so interesting! Incredibly cool.. Ancient history just has this mystic appeal that makes me extremely curious.. it's such a time period removed from our world as we know it, its very Romantic! (not in the romantic love way)

In lecture today, Prof Fairey was trying to find a way to explain how such a small population (the Greeks) could cast such incredibly long shadows in our history! I won't bore anyone with details, but one part which struck me was when Prof touched on sculptures and how the Greeks were the first to move from idealistic stylized to realism sculpture. Simply meaning that before this Greek Miracle occured out of nowhere, sculptures could fit almost anyone (idealism). However, the Greeks managed to mould their sculptures to exact depictions of the essence of a person, and actually able to recognize who the person in the sculpture is.

This struck me because it made me recall one of my favourite trivia from one of Dan Brown's book and Steve Berry's books about the phrase "Without Wax". Some people know it, some people don't. I'm just posting about because I love the meaning behind it.

This little piece of trivia may or may not be real, but the given history behind it is very interesting! Without Wax comes from the latin words "sin" (without) and "ceras" (wax). Some people say that it is the origin of the word Sincerity, some people argue against it. I'm honestly not bothered with the historical accuracy of its origins. I find it sweet for this reason:

According the the story, in Ancient times, 'without wax' first came about during the height of Greek and Roman artistry, when the art of sculpting took flight and became popular. Whenever a sculpture made a mistake, to hide it, he would pour wax over it with the same colour to match the marble. Thus wax served as a cover up, masking all flaws and imperfections of cheap pottery or bad pieces. If a sculpture wanted to authenticate his work, he'll stand 'without wax' as proof that he did not hide anything from the customers, and is selling them a genuine piece of work.

Applied to modern context, the word sincerity hence translates to without wax, meaning that all that one is saying is true, genuine and void of any lies etc. Like wearing your heart on your sleeve.

So when you sign off letters to friends who mean a lot to you, sincerely, then this could probably be what it means! even if it may not be historically accurate, it is so extremely sweet =) haha!

Moving on.. another little piece of Trivia is that our language is founded on Greek words.. If you spoke out of a medical textbook, you'll probably be using 50% Greek words.. Apparently, kids on the street who can speak Greek use words like anthropos colloquially.. any word with ologist, polis etc.. all from the Greek! haha.. Im so amazed by them, but i really think further explanation might bore..

Ooh one more thing about the Greeks, the Spartans in particular.. Boys are taken away from their mother at age 7 to go to military school where they will remain till they are considered matured at 30 YEARS OLD. Then they are allowed to marry, and stay at home, BUT! still have to serve in the army till 60 years old!! Haha.. if some people find NS tough.. omg.. this is 53 years of military! your whole life is literally in the army!

Anyways, after lecture Wendy and I just hung out for awhile before my next General Bio lecture and...

ahahahahah... ah well...

The background actually serves as a nice effect! Central Forum...

Oh, and in General Bio.. our Prof kindly told us that when we eat Broccoli.. we are eating the sex organs of the plant.. right... I don't like broccoli... lol! And he wrapped up a broccoli bouquet.. seriously no kidding... he said women should carry that down the aisle instead to solve the falling birth rate.. omg.. ahaha....

Okay... I really really should get back to work.. =P

Getting into the Studying Mood

Learning from last sem, I'm trying not to lag behind readings.. Thankfully.. Ages of the Mediterranean textbook is quite an interesting read! Ancient History is fascinating.. And when I know more, I shall blog about it!

Also, I got the presentation topic I wanted for this mod! "What Is Love Anyway?" In context of ancient times.. That will be fun =)

I shall share videos from youtube along the way, and so far.. two Hollywood films already link to the module! 'Troy', and 'Tristan and Isolde'.

Troy is one of the two first great epic poems written by Homer around 8thC BC. The specific poem that 'Troy' is from is is Iliad, Homer's epic of the Trojan War, fought between the Greek States of Troy and Sparta. However, Iliad is more focused on the tale of the Greek Hero Achilles, than on the war itself. "True to all great literature, the Iliad abounds in universal lessons." Quoting from my textbook written by Jackson J. Spielvogel.

The other great epic poem is Odyssey which i really know nothing about.. Should probably read up on it..

Apparently, these two poems deal with the heroes of the Mycenaean age of the 13thC BC, but it is believed that they reflect the social conditions of the Dark Age more than anything. Since Homer's world reflects values of aristocratic heroes, it deals with the aristocratic values of courage and honour. Hopefully when I've looked through the texts or movie more carefully, I can see where these values appear and how it shapes the decisions of the people!

'Tristan and Isolde' isn't really as linked to the module as 'Troy', but it's set after the Dark Ages, between the states of Britain and Sparta.

Sparta again.. Haha, I wonder why so many films have them involved, and always portrayed in a way that make them seem more barbaric, ruthless and unlikable. Well, Monday's tutorial will deal with Sparta, so hopefully I'll learn more!

This makes me want to watch the films again =D That will be a nice break! Don't like all the wars though..

Here's a picture from our first lecture, which my prof called "A Portrait of Time". It urges us to look at the large concept of Greece, not simply focus on the fleeting moments.

The Geophysical Structure forms the backdrop of history, Greek islands being a mountainous peninsular, isolated and surrounded by sea. Changes occur very slowly against the whole physical backdrop.

The person pushing the cart represent conjunctures, human systems which lasts hundreds of years, for example, Feudalism. Yet it's nothing in comparison to the timescale of the physical backdrop.

The events such as Icarus falling into the ocean with only his leg being seen, represent singular events that are so insignificant against the whole concept and place it occurred. Haha, I love this painting!

Ok, time to sign off, goodnight!

A New Start and A New Year!

It's been more than a year since my last blog entry.. and though I have been reluctant to continue blogging for some reason, I decided that I want to continue blogging again..

Perhaps it's because my Prof in my module Animal Behaviour told us that the best way to spread knowledge and news nowadays is through each individual student's blog. He said that it would be more likely for youngsters nowadays to check each others blogs than to go to his website.. haha.. I found it very true.. so that was the push that got me started on blogging once more..

I'm going to use this more for recording my little insights here and there that come and go too quickly rather than for a daily documentation of my social life.. I'll leave that to facebook.. I think it'll be interesting to read back and see how the way I perceive things have changed..

so... here is the start of something new =)

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

heys all!

first of... I'm so so sorry I haven't been updating.. especially friends who've been complaining at my negligence.

Well... prelims are over.. and sometimes I wonder whether I studied anything at all... 

annoyingly, We only get our results back like one piece at a time.. and I'm getting a heart attack about my Human geog.

It's depressing. What I studies hard for... I FAILED. but.. surprisingly.. Lit is ok.. so far at least. And I didn't study for that. weird much.

I really believe there's something about the feng shui this year.. 

It's not a good year for those born in the year of the horses.. And apparently, it's hard to focus, concentrate etc. I believe in it, those some may be skeptical about it, but it's my choice so i believe =P

Sometimes... seeing people around me happily attached and having such a sweet partner to go to and rely on causes something in me to feel hollow, empty, a gut twisting feeling.. Really makes you wonder.. what you are missing out...

Well, I recently joined fitness first and got a personal trainer.. and I guess it's unusual for someone my age to get one.. haha.. Liesel said the only people she's heard getting personal trainers are either overweight or much older and unfit.. 

Now... I'm wondering what my purpose of getting a personal trainer is.. I thought it was actually for looking good during grad night. Well, that is a goal, but it's only part of the reason I realized.. It's not so simple I guess.. When you've been fat and ugly before, looking good adds a hell lot of confidence... I mean.. I've always known that I'm not that confident of the way I look, especially since I was so fat in primary school and got called 'fatty'. Though those days are thankfully over, I guess that it did something to my self confidence..

I want a trainer to whip me into shape, so that I have no qualms about how I look. Its something to do with looking good to feel good..

I know a lot of people think I am confident of myself... Of my abilities yes, definitely, but.. sometimes, I get easily intimidated, I just choose not to show it.. oh well.

I can't help but sometimes wonder.. With couples all around me getting attached, why I haven't met a guy I like and likes me back. I'm not gonna say what's wrong with me because I know my friends will kill me, but sometimes it just feels that way. ahh... 

haha, ok, on a side note... There's this really cute guy at the gym.. I don't know why I feel somewhat attracted to him... There are loads of guys with good built good looks and all that there but he just captured my attention immediately when I walked into the gym the first time, but I wasn't really affected by the other guys. Weird how things work that way.. oh well... hehe=) 

oh yes... I finally went kayaking again!! Hehe.. and got a tan =DD I really really miss having a tan and I like how I look! yayness! Went with gew and kit.. and kayaked on singles.. ugh.. gew! you said you'd kayak doubles with me!!!!! My arms were so tired.. though we didn't travel far.. hahahaha... we were against the tide, so... yeah.. but the way back was only half and hour compared to one and a half hour we took getting to the place before turning back.. lunch at sea =) oh how i miss the feeling of being out in the open sea and bobbing around in the water.. If only I can find out what's wrong with my technique, ugh. I kayak so slowly!

I AM ACHING. BADLY. But feels 'shiok' to a certain extent, feels good to know I worked my butt off... hehe. hopefully will see results soon!!

and yes.. amazing how some people have the ability to brighten up your day with simple gestures.. hehe =) go figure =P

I shall add photos another time... nothing much to add though...

byeeeeeee!