Monday, November 6, 2006

hii... my mum's perfromance has finally ended... 4 tiring nights over =D hmm.. I want to perform like that one day.. Rose (dance school director) and Angel (spanish dance teacher) keep saying stuff about me performing in the next performance etc.. I hope so.. =) I've been confused about some stuff... And unsure of how to conduct myself.. but.. a vivid dream gave me the answer to my questions the other night, and helped me to put things into perspective.. It somehow seemed like a peek into the future.. Of what things could be if only I don't rush into things and be patient.. It's not the right time... I loved the feelings i had in the dream.. it was so right... I am still waiting to feel that in real life.. And I promise myself that I will not get entangled unless I experience that same feeling I know exists from my dream.. Huh... Dreams seek to give you advice and tell you stuff.. from some subconscious part of my brain and.. my heart? not overcrowded by opinions and views from those around, pressuring me to conform... My heart speaks for itself.. And i think it wants to wait.. So i shall follow it.. I guess now.. I think i'm still too young.. or maybe just haven't met someone who sweeps me off my feet.. But.. is there such a kind of person? I don't know.. But.. I shall just be patient.. and follow my heart.. not my head, not the people around.. but just by gut feeling and matters of the heart.. that will lead to to the answer.. May be in the near future.. may not be.. But somehow.. I sense something coming.. around the corner... just... don't know when... I'm sorry if this post sounds confusing.. I guess my thoughts about this matter are so jumbled up.. but.. I'm clear of what I am going to do and have to do.. Smile people!!! I know I will always try to.. Never forget that.. It instantly makes the world seem brighter and makes those around you bask in your glow as well =D nights!
Here's 28th Oct's entry that i couldn't update.. lol..

Hmm.. don’t know why… listening to the songs on joowen’s blog.. makes me feel so sad.. is it because of what I’ve been feeling recently? I don’t even know how im feeling.. I guess it’s cause im still unsure and confused.. hai.. shall just let nature take its course.. Memories of the past seem to haunt me these few days.. yesterday went to KFC with my grandma to eat.. the one my granddad use to bring us all the time, especially for treats.. My grandmother teared a little.. hai.. it’s been more than a year.. but I still shed tears for him.. oh.. I forgot to thank jw, claud n royce for the hugs that day at the Sennett park.. was really comforting.. =) and jh for accompanying me to Sennett to take a look.. made me able to steer my thoughts away from pure melancholy.. rain.. I love it.. as long as im not trekking… it somehow evokes emotions and feelings.. when im sad.. just standing under the rain feeling it wash over me.. makes me feel as though my worries, sorrows and tears and being washed away.. cleansing the mind body and soul.. when you are in the house, and the rain is falling outside.. its such a cosy and warm feeling.. somehow.. light showers have a calming effect on me.. I don’t know how to describe the feeling.. but it just is.. training today was quite ok.. so so tiring though.. lol.. my toes ached so much.. and I accidentally kicked victors boots (lightly) and my toenail felt as though it was going to drop off.. geez. Anyways.. I don’t really have much else to say… but leave u guys with this message.. there’ always millions of reasons to smile.. you just have to delve deeper to find them sometimes… cheerios! ^^