{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

HII!! Greetings from China =) haha.. I've taken a lot of photos, but am at my dad's office now, so I can't exactly upload my photos... So far.. it's been a lot of shopping, went clubbing and kbox with my dad and his friends, and met his girlfriend. yup. I shall comment on that later.. not while I'm here.. hmm...

The air here is really polluted. I took photos of buildings in the distance looking hazy, but I can't really figure out whether it's due to haze, mist or whatever it may be.. The weather here is rather eratic.. It's monsoon seasons if I'm not wrong, the transition between spring and summer. Hmm.. But I'm not sure. My dad's friend just said it was very unstable weather, and it made me think immediately of the lapse rate theories. lol. Not gonna think too much about it till I can refer to my books=)

hm............ i'm bored............. no one online now to talk to me.. I was also considering making my blog private to those given access only... then... i can write more stuff... ok.. nothing much to blog about.. It's not that interesting i know... I'm sorry.. haha... The update on the next post will be more interesting!

On a side note, I miss my mum and grandma...

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

hehe... I'm flying off to China tomorrow night!!!! =D or should i say tonight since it's already 2.30 am? hehe...

I went to watch Get Smart today with kit, ahahahha.. hilarious!!! good movie, really good =)

Then met manda, sam and liesel for shopping! I want sunglasses... but couldn't find nice ones... I might consider buying the relatively ok $18 one... not too bad... but.. lazy to go tmr. lol! we'll see when I come back...

I bought a nice necklace! Diva is having sale at the orchard cineleisure branch. omg.. nice and cheap for once!! I love Diva accessories.. but too ex... normally... hehehe!! picture of one necklace below =)

Yes.. I went back for Jazz again.. During warm up (at least 30mins), my sweat was already dripping!! And the combination was HARD. they have been learning it for weeks! Hard to catch up! Can follow.. but didn't feel good cause can't dance it as well as I'd like to. So i video-ed it down.. practice =) so by next week can dance it!! It felt AWESOME to get back to dance.. I shall no longer miss the classes!!! hehehe.

I love this pendant!! hee

Ok... most probably won't be updating till next tues when I come back, unless I can use my dad's laptop.. hmm.. maybe! hehe.. byee!!

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

JCTs are OVER!! *Rejoice* wahahaha!

I'm so so happy and relieved... no more stress for awhile=) look forward to the 2 days of relaxing before going off to China! hehe =D

Went for dinner with Jane and then we went shopping!! At parkway.. didn't have enough time to study.. Oh yes, we stopped by Syak's house to visit her cause she had high fever.. Get well soon babes!! And to the rest who haven't finished JCTs, goodluck!! only one or two more days!!! jia you!

Hmm.. just finished watching atonement.. Wow. Really shows how one little lie could affect and destroy the lives of others.. And the price you pay is that you live with that guilt for your entire life. My goodness. I never want to live with that kind of gut-wrenching guilt. It'll be torturous!

Well.. shopping therapy was awesome! Jane and I bought the same black spaghetti and grey jacket.. for like $12 in total!! so below =D

Haha... The PJs i wanted to buy... cute right? the polka dots!!!

I like this butterfly top... but its too big =( and no more size... leather straps!! so unique.. 

oh well...

Jane and I in the changing room, lol! This is the grey top and black spaghetti strap we bought! =D

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

hello =)

haha.. kit was just so sweet! he bought me a slice of cake from cartel and brought it to my place.. hehe so touched... just what I was craving for! I'm so lucky! =DD

Exams = dead. haha.

Today's geog and econs paper brain drained me. I'm so sure tomorrow's will be even worse. KI... which i will have nothing to write about, and will most probably spend the time writing nonsense. oh no. =S feel bad...

Maths... I've been practicing for Stats.. so I'm hoping to pass.. tht's all I ask for.. pass.. haha.. I think my JCT results are going to be a wake up call...

I seriously need to get something done about the stupid headaches. 

2hrs of tuition... watch movie.. relief from thinking.. haha... tired now... 

Sorry, I know it's very fragmented.. my thoughts are fragmented. I feel like I'm just flitting through today. Rather emotionless.. really. zz. ok.. time to go and get ready for exam tmr. Good luck to myself -.- ha. bye!

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

I've been thinking about this question for the last few days... What is it like to love a guy, and be loved back too? How does love even feel like?

Almost everyone comes up with criteria of what their ideal companion will be like.. but most realize that when they get attached, the guy or girl is usually different from what they envisioned. Your head tells you one thing, but your heart tells you another.. So should you follow your head or your heart? I think it's easier to control your head.. but it's so so difficult to control your heart.. Haha.. pride and prejudice huh? I guess the best way to happiness really is the moderation of desire with judgement. 

I've been thinking... all my life, I never had someone whom I really love, and I know love me back.. And I see my friends getting attached, happy etc.. Is what they are experiencing called love? I always think that I want to keep my first kiss and holding hands etc for that special guy, and that the right guy will come along. I know I love to love. Sometimes causing my own downfall I guess. I give too willingly, too obviously, too emotionally.. But I realized through every tough experience, I learn so much from it. It hurts real bad everytime.. But I know when the right guy comes along, and I know what to do from the experiences, it'll be worth it. Or at least I tell myself it'll be worth it.. I want to know how it is like to love someone so much that your heart feels like it's bursting, and seeing him makes your heart skip a beat. I guess I will in time. Sigh. 

After reflecting on this year.. I think I was a idiot. I didn't stop to think at all about what I was doing. Regretting now is too late, what's done is done.. But then I realize, I don't regret a single thing.. I was happy, I really was, and the memories of it will always be nice, no matter how much time has passed. Sentimental? Emotional? whatever you call it. I treasure memories, sweet things and thoughtful actions of my friends a lot! I have a whole box, of tiny notes, messages and cards from my friends ever since I was young. Each piece of paper holds a tiny memory of a wonderful time spent together. Even if the time was a painful one, it has still contributed to making me who I am today, and I believe that makes it an extremely important and precious thing to be treasured. 

I read something yesterday, and it really bothered me... I saw something today, that added onto that bothering in my head. But thanks to Jane, Syak and Dims.. I'm fine now =D thanks babes!! I've really got to section my heart and my head. Will have to learn. Sigh. Why am I a kind of person who is so affected by feelings? I always felt that when my heart is light, anything can happen as long as I know that the person I like is there for me.. But when that person is not, things just seem bleak. 

I believe in true love. I believe it exists. And to me, I think it is the most powerful force on earth, that links everyone from around the globe together. Love has a power to make impossible things become a reality. I think love is so beautiful, and transcendental. Sadly, love is also a game. I never want love to be a game, but, it inevitably will become one i think. Unless I find a guy who really loves me unconditionally. Wow, how amazing it will be to have someone to love you no matter what, to love you even when you're being an *ss, and will let you know and bring you back down to earth and wake you up back to reality. To have someone to love you more than you love yourself. That's really something. Of course, it'll only be nice if you love him back just as much. 

Thinking about this in a larger picture, I feel consoled. I do. For now, I'll just wait for that someone to show. Haha... I guess everything else.. will be a process of learning.. Just that from what I just learnt, I do hope.. that someday we'll be comfortable with each other again, and be able to talk like good friends do, like before. oh wells.. lala.. 

heh, sorry for the rambling, just needed to release =)

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

I'm so distracted and I can't study! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

haven't studied all day cause of headache and now no mood to study and tmr's lit.! zz.. 

die. 

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

hello.. 

Today was Physical Geog JCTs. bah. I doubt I can do as well as I wanted to. I'm sure that for the DRQ, i'm gonna lose marks here and there, especially for the Hydrology section.. 

Guess what?? I bought my new camera!! hehe!

see?? And I decorated it with nail art stickers so now it's really pretty! haha.. I love the quality! Started taking so many random photos.. that look so so nice =D

Hmm... after celebrating Liesel's Birthday and Kai Sheng's homecoming... which reminds me, the pictures are here!

All 8 girls!

The few of us sitting in Song Xi's Van going to Wine Connection =)

Our group shot at wine connection, my family! =D

After that night I realized that I didn't go out at all, except on Sunday to suntec to the IT fair to get my new camera=)) 

Seems like a lot of time has past.. but actually... not really.. but my brain's rejecting the idea of studying anymore.. Just when JCTs are round the corner =S bad. bad. bad. My mum just came back and bought me a super nice perfume! Icanto Heaven by Salvatore Ferragamos. However you spell it, hehe!!

The bottle is SO pretty don't you think? hehe! ♥♥♥

I guess the return of the horrible headache does NOT help anything.. it started coming back on Monday.. and it's lasting till now.. and ALL the medicine that used to help in the past, does NOT help at all now.. horrible horrible. Tomorrow is my Lit paper4 and I havent done anything since I finished the geog paper just now. Which reminds me.. I wrote 7pages long... haha.. 14 sides... My goal by Prelims.. would be to write 10 pages or 20 sides long.. I think that's at least I think, for a good A grade paper.. That's easy for Physical geog.. Human is another story..

I'll just take JCTs as a gauge of how well I know what I studied.. Lit and Physical Geog.. and Statistics for maths I guess.. Econs and KI is pretty much dead. Have to work much harder after JCTs.. everyday study. zzz. For now, I just want JCTs to be OVER...

One thing to look forward to... batch gathering on Saturday!!!! =D=D=D=D=D=D=D who cares about studies when you have that? ♥

{dreaming.. wishing.. hoping..*}

bah. yes i know i haven't updated in awhile.. I've had a rather nice holiday break I must say... seriously at the expense of my studies.. The weekend after my last post was the oac june camp.. I'm not going to elaborate anything here as it is confidential information that the subsequent junior batches cannot find out.. but let's say.. I was honestly disappointed. Really. At some points in time shocked, at some points in time, I seriously had to control myself to NOT say anything. I guess it's all part and parcel of learning to be a senior, and not an oac instructor anymore. Also heard news during the camp that handover will be in march. wth. What about Titans?!?! I guess people who know me already know what I've been complaining about, and thank goodness this is my last year in TJC. Thank goodness. Another motivation to study very hard, not get any chance at all to retain. Lol. ok, not very funny but still. 

The next week... Oh right... I fell sick. haha.. slept, slacked.. studied only around 4 hours a day.. not sure what I was doing but I know I watched a lot of TV and surfed the net a lot.. Sunday, 8th, we went to receive Kai Sheng from the airport! Haha, he's back from taiwan for 2 weeks! 

Then... this week was spent mugging. Haha.. about 10 hrs a day. AND, I only finished atmosphere, without global warming =( and maths i guess... I'm so not going to finish studying in time for JCTs...!

Yesterday was a lot a lot of fun though.. Finally, in dunno how many many months, the whole 0506 batch gathered together again =D It felt so so nice! but.. at the same time.. it felt.. very different.. heh.. not gonna elaborate.. let's just say I had mixed feelings.. I conclude that I don't really like wine very much. Compared to rum, bacardi, vodka, martini etc.. ee.. really dun like and cannot take it.. I was having a headache by the 3rd glass.. 

Now... I dunno how I feel. I am confused. seriously. About something that hasn't bothered me in quite a long time.. few months, and now it's back again. Argh I'm so messed up. =( I guess I won't think about it too much now, after all what's most important is the A levels this year.. there'll be time for everything else after this. I just hope it's not too late. Was feeling quite sad and down on thursday after JTS w delta hc.. I dunno why I was suddenly like tht, but I guess I just had a bad day.. oh well.. gotta get back to studying.. I'll update more interesting stuff next time... I'm getting a new camera!! =D