`+._ Thoughts and Feelings _.+`

Hmm.. I guess nowadays, I'm feeling just like I used to feel. A bit being taken for granted. I don't mind helping when asked or offering to help. But the annoying thing is that when people assume things, and there's a communication break down, some people get irritated and.. makes me feel real bad. They are irritated, that I can tell. And the horrible thing is, in the end, I ask myself, was it worth helping? I feel that the blame is on me and I feel really terrible. Is it worth putting myself through that? Yet I like helping people. To a certain extent though. Some people ask me to help do stuff, I agree, and then when mentioning the issue, they make it seem as though I'm their servant -.- You know who you are. Gosh, I know you may like to joke abit, but seriously, it makes me feel stupid, that I had been taken for granted. Well, I am just irritated with some people today and the way they treat me. Hopefully my mood will get better by tomorrow. Well, my braces are not as bad.. but still.. I wish it would stop hurting. I can't chew properly, it's so irritating. It's the last day for the 2-Star kayaking course tomorrow. I really hope I can pass. And I pray my braces don't hurt. Timing for 2.4km today, 13.50min. I should improve by at least 20 more secs.. goal by next week.. I really hope I can acheive it. By the time I leave TJC, I must be able to complete it within 12 mins. 3 more years, possible. Today's OAC session was on the facilitation course by Mr Fun. I guess we realized how important it is to know each other as teammates, our strengths and weaknesses. We all managed to climb the wall in 2 min +! =D Of course with assistance, haha, only Kai Sheng didn't need help. Well, this entry's purpose is for me to let out all my feelings previously mentioned, to wind off and cool down, that kind of thing =) Something learnt from Mr Fun and the tower obstacle, you have to dare to let go, in order to move on. It really applies to lots of different things. Relationships, the loss of a family member, being upset and let down over something, irritation with people etc. Just let it go! And look to a better time and day ahead. Bye for now ^^

`+._ Harry Potter, Kayaking and Braces _.+`

Hii.. Well, the 6th book of the Harry Potter series is finally out! And guess what? I went leisure kayaking on that day. Hm.. I don't regret going for kayaking at all. It was loads and loads of fun!!! I felt so tired after that and was like a zombie going to dance class. But i still really enjoyed my dance class =D as usual, it rocks! By the time I got home, I was just flat out on my bed. The next day was torturous as I had Maths tuition in the morning for 2 hrs, followed by 1 hour of maths homework, break for lunch, 3 hours of Chinese tuition came back to do Chemistry homework and then went for dinner. Bought the adult's Harry Potter version. =D I went home and had to do Geography hmwk before I happily sat and read my book. The next day was a pain in the neck too. People were trying to tell me about the plot of the story and it was simply so irritating. Classes were especially long and I was walking almost everywhere with the book. I finally finished it in the afternoon. Well.. It's sad I must say.. And I'm not rejoicing about the shippers either. It was a good book though. Now I can't wait for the 7th book. The week was hectic for me with OAC and piles of homework. Ah... This week ain't gonna be better. The last weekend, 23rd and 24th, we had part of the 2-star kayaking course. I loved the course for some reason.. haha.. so much more fun than the one-star course. But I definately got more bruises than the previous course, with all the hip flicks =P Anyway, my resolution is to be able to do the paddle roll by next Saturday, last day of the 2-star course. I'll try my best and if I can't, I know that I have already done my best. Well.. Guess what, I had no idea that I was going to the dentist to put on braces today. haha, I thought it was only a check up and vuala! I have braces now. And they are hurting... I can't fully close my mouth because they put something to prevent is from closing so that my crossbite can come out. Ah.. I 'close' my mouth, and my tongue can poke through it! haha.. Well... Two years... I hope that I'll get used to them soon. Even smiling is awkward! haha, anyway, cheerios for now!

`+._ Just another day_.+`

Today started off with Maths lesson on a new topic.. Thank goodness I can still follow.. Next was dreaded PE.. I was still aching all over, the after effects of OAC handover PT. It was so tiring and painful to run on the track. Is it just me, or is the track harder to run than on the road. I guess it's just my phobia. I don't exactly have the most pleasant memories on the track. Haha. Well... There was a good part after the run =D We took height and weight, I lost weight and grew taller!! I am so happy. Haha.. I thought I put on weight instead. The PE teachers are starting to prepare us for our Nagfa test coming up soon.. I hope I can score full 30 points.. That's my goal. Well, lessons went on as smoothly, kind of. I drank in Miss Ng's class and got a polite telling off. I really don't like those kind of telling offs.. It made me feel really bad that I did not think about what she said myself. Oh well.. I won't drink in class again.. Repentence.. I always wonder why I feel so bad about some little things when others would just simply not care at all. The information goes in from one ear and comes out from the other. Well, I guess it's good to know that you are in the wrong.. But it doesn't help how I felt. Okay... I have stuff to settle and am going to get started on them before it gets collected up into a mountainous pile.

Ciaos~

`+._ The dreaded results.. _.+`

Now's the sad part.. my results... Gosh... These results are one of the worst I've ever received.. Something that I feel I have to get accustomed to in TJC for the first few terms. Guess what? The play I practiced so hard for... didn't turn out well. My group marks got 9/25... atrocious.. Individual, 19/25... Not up to expectation either.. Best Actor was Sandy, and Best Actress was Jane =D Congrats to you both! Geography, thank goodness was not too bad, 32/40. But for some stange reason, I did not feel satisfied. What is wrong with me -.-? It's one of the highest in class already and I'm still not satisfied. Oh well... I'm just having a bad day I guess. We went back to Temasek Sec to 'promote' the Integrated Programme. Oddly enough, besides seeing my friends, I felt so so foreign in the school, as though the people there were putting on a show, being fake. It's just a feeling, maybe because I haven't been back in ages. Congrats to TAG! You guys rule.. sadly, I can't go back and join you guys for practice.. I really want to.. but don't have the time =( The minute I stepped back into TJC compound, I felt so much at home.. It was an awesome feeling. I love TJC now, no matter how stressful it is and how busy it makes me. Then it was doom time.. LA (English and Lit) results.. We piled into LT1 and awaited our fates. I failed my essay, 23/50, but luckily, passed my comprehension, 28/50. Overall, thank good fortune, that I passed.. 51/100 -.-.. Pathetic I know, but.. at least I didn't fail.. Gosh, only about 10% passed the essay.. Well.. I have to study harded, and I feel so happy now that at least I can understand Maths.. I think I'm gonna need some help still though.. I wonder whether my seniors will have time to help me =S But they themselves are so busy, 'bu4 hao3 yi4 si4' to ask them. I'll live. =P So.. that's it for today.. Let's just say no matter how tough OAC trainings are, I always look forward to every single meeting.

Cheerios for now~

The OAC Handover

After 6 months of blood, sweat and tears, it was finally time for the OAC handover. The times we have quarrelled with each other, encouraged each other, seek comfort in each other, worked together, had fun together, learned together and supported each other, all came down to this day.

I couldn't imagine what the seniors would first want us to accomplish before the handover. In time, I found out. It was the toughest training I ever had. The day started off with running the titans route twice, with 7kg backpack, the guys had to carry 12kg. That means it's about 10km. It was an individual run, which meant that there was no one to encourage me and push me on. In all my life, I had never once pushed my physical limits and it was only with the help of my teammates and the seniors that I can achieve the physical standard that I have now. Initially, I did not know that we were required to run the route twice, I only thought we had to do it once. Then, my goal was to jog the 5km Titan’s route without stopping. That would be my first time doing so. I told myself, 'if you stop, then you are quitting' I did not want to quit. Therefore, no matter how tired I was, I pushed on, and managed to do so faster than I have done before. However, when I realized that that was not the end of the run, I felt so puzzled and let down. I literally had to force myself to keep on jogging. I just kept telling myself that for this run, what mattered to me was not the speed in which I was able to complete it, however, it was the endurance in which I subjected myself to without stopping. I myself knew that I was jogging extremely slowly, I wanted to speed up, but then I failed myself by not being able to do so. That was one part I was extremely disappointed in myself. I promise myself that I would persevere on and with a faster speed next time. To improve oneself for the betterment of the team. That's our motto.

I love my teammates to bits now. They are my extended family in which I feel I have 12 older brothers and sisters who will watch out for me. That kind of a feeling is like none other. It's the kind of warm feeling you get that you belong. At the last part of the run, when I slowly met up with all my team mates and they ran the last lap with me, I felt energized and with them running with me, I had the kind of feeling that they would support me and encourage me in any situation. I'm just following my intuition, and I definitely hope it's right =).

After the run, when we gathered at the tool shed, Alex wanted to talk to the team. He wanted to quit OAC because of the problems he was facing. We all talked to him for a while and let him make his decision. I'm so glad he was strong enough to chose to stay for I couldn't bear it if any member was to quit the team now. We are a family! The phrase 'We've got your back' is there. However, there definitely are times when we quarrel and disagree. Well, if we didn’t, then that would be a little too unrealistic.

Next, was 3 times of the log obstacle, carrying our backpacks and the 90kg log. I was so fatigue but everyone was working so hard, so I did the best I could as well. Those are one of the times when all of us are panicking to reach the time limit that we start shouting at each other to communicate. With everyone worn out by the 10km run, our tempers were running short and we were easily irritated. However, seeing the guys work so hard to carry the log while running from destination to destination, it really made me have the will to put in all my effort to help lighten the load or take more load so that we could complete the obstacles faster. Time was essential during log obstacle, therefore, everyone worked very hard together, and even though we were rather short tempered, we still gave it our best attempt. I felt a surge of pride for Kimberly, Samantha and Yin Wei who continued to persevere even though they had injuries. That was truly showing the Oacian spirit.

Subsequently, it was time for camp craft. We were to build the structure 'suicide window'. That consisted of 4 square lashes, and 2 round lashes. We had to eat our standard lunch as well within that 1h20min. Sadly, we did not manage to complete it even though given 10mins extension. Our punishment was to run the track within 2mins. We failed till the last round. We had to run 3 times. My goodness... I felt so faint, breathless and dizzy. I was so scared. Thanks to Kar Gea who made me compose myself. Well, we didn't manage to do the structure as well as planned, so... it was wash-up time then we headed back to the long jump area.

There is a track line there and we had to build a human pyramid. Wei Kheam, Wai Kit, Kai Sheng, Eng Wei and Li Yuan were at the bottom. Then the rest, I couldn't remember because we were all rushing to accomplish it within the given time. That was rather interesting, the lower height form of cheerleading, only difference, I was at the top of the pyramid instead of the back supporter. Next activity was the conveyer belt. Gosh.. that was.. er.. painful, yet oddly fun if you consider being squashed till you scream to be fun. Haha.. we were supposed to hold hands and roll towards the sand area. Two rows of six, one on top of the other, and roll without letting go of our hands. I was getting stomach cramps from all the shouting and laughing that went on. Eng Wei, Wei Kheam and Wai Kit were hilarious. I was in between Alex and Wai Kit and every time someone went over me, I felt so winded. Once we reached the sand area, I ate sand. *Shudder* Haha, all in all, it was rather fun, one of the weird team bonding games seniors make juniors do.

Then after the fun, we had to do push-ups. One push up for every letter, and one for each word completed. That was our hand over pledge. In total, that's about 161 push-ups. My hands and knees were so sore and numb from putting my weight on the roughness of the track.

I had to leave early for my dance class, however, no matter how tough the training had been, I always look forward to the next OAC training with zest and enthusiasm as no matter what toughness and hardship we have to go through, I know my team mates will be there for me always.

In the end, what I will come to cherish about OAC and benefit from OAC in the future is the strong bond of friendship formed between the team, being able to take the mental and physical toughness that I will definitely come across in life. OAC has not only taught me to be strong physically, but emotionally as well. I find that extremely important, a lesson than one cannot learn simply from reading a book. Besides that, the ‘dare-to-try’ spirit is of extremely vital when it comes to taking chances, for if you do not dare to try, you may never know what you are missing out on.

To my team mates, Samantha, Amanda, Yan Ling, Yin Wei, Kimberly, Li Yuan, Liesel, Wei Kheam, Eng Wei, Kai Sheng, Alex, Wai Kit, Thank you so much. You guys rock =D

`+._ Quiz Results! _.+`

I just took some quizzes for fun, and decided to share them with you ^^ haha, bear in mind, these results aren't always acurate =P


Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feel the same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)





H:

Your Beauty liesin Serenity. Calm, inspiring, and nearly always
level-headed. You have apeaceful appearance, people know they can trust you
and come to you for advice.You probably have a soothing and beautiful voice to
match you and you are seenas a mature, motherly figure. You don't show much
emotion which may make youappear emotionless and distant at times, but you
are most likely a veryempathetic individual. You keep your head in bad
situations and are calm even ingood ones. You probably wear more flowing clothing
in light pastel colors andone of your most beautiful feature is your smooth
and young face. Some peoplemay even be inspired simply by your presence, you
would make a great mediator ornegotiator as people know they can trust and count
on you for a peacefulsolution.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Water, Wind Animal: Swan Color:
Blues, Greens, Pastels Song:Only Time by Enya Expression: Reassuring
Smile

Gemstone:Amethyst Mythological Creature: Elfin Kind
Planet: Neptune Hair Color: Light Blonde Eye Color:Blue

Quote: "Peace and trust take years to build and
seconds to shatter."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..




Aphrodite/Eros

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??




You are the Spirit of Hope. Whenever someone is
feeling down, they merely have to think of you
to make them happy again. You have the ability
to simply radiate happiness. You can make
friends quickly because your strong point is
your amazingly friendly nature which naturally
people want to be with. You think about the
best in everything, a total optimist, you won't
have any trouble getting a worthy person to
shae your life with!

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)




Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!




You're a Spring. You usually are very close-knit
with your friends and value everyone freidnship
you have. You're a real people person and
everyone loves how friendly you are. You're
good with encouraging people but usually don't
like to be the center of attention. You are a
social butterfly and probably are in several
circles of friends but it's just because you're
well liked and you make people comfortable.
You're both fun and wise but you are very
realistic about life.(If you can't see tje
pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)

What season are you? (pics)




you are a winter fairy. your well known but don't
always hang out with the cool kids. you love
bold colors and your nice most of the time.

what type of fairy are you? with beautiful pix, music, and a stunning background!!!!




Unique, mystical, insightful and beautifulYou are a Snow sprite. Mysterious, and alluring you
naturally attract people to you, your like a
people magnet even though you most often wish
to be alone. Your love for cold climates and
snow has given you an insight into the beauty
few see. While most see bland white you see a
forest or blanket of sparkling white beauty. To
you life is something precious and you intend
to figure out its mysteries. You are very
mature and don't waste your intelligence on
childish games or people not worth your time
which can make you seem arrogant at times but
you are really just intent on saving your time
for better things. Your soul is very beautiful
if not a little shut up, you keep your emotions
hidden from everyone and therefore they don't
know what your capable of. You are a living
fantasy.

.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-




You like the sweet, shy type.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to?

`+._ I simply LOVE dance =D _.+`

This has been a great day! (ooh.. I just got a deja vu) We went to Raffles Town Country Club for lunch to celebrate my grandfather's belated birthday as well as father's day. I got to meet up with my aunties uncles and cousins. Haven't seen them in quite a while~ My cousins are just so cute, haha.. Imagine I was like them before, only fatter when I was their age =P Then we headed to my dance school. It felt so good to be back! I missed the place and my teachers for 3 weeks! I missed 10 lessons in total! 4 Hiphop, 3 Prepartorial Flamenco and 3 Premier Flamenco classes! It felt great to be dancing again, I missed it so so much! Haha, i got so lost in Premier class, it was rather embarrasing, luckily, Prepartorial class was still ok. But it was rather confusing as both grades dance's are rather similar, but Premier is a little harder. I got so confused which was which! Geez, I'm going to have to practice... Exams are in November! *yikes* Combining both hand, leg and castanets movements are so hard.. One part moves, the others doesn't, and the last part doesn't know what to do. Haha!!! After my class I watched my mum's company class. The performing group. *sigh* they dance so well! One day, my goal is to be able to be part of the company dance. I shall practice hard, hopefully in 1 - 3 years time, i will be ready =D It's so awesome, they are having a performance like those ballet's with storylines! It's in November and I can't wait for it!! I wish I got a chance to perform... I shall practice hard, i will!! And I've decided I need some ballet basics... Whether I have the time to take that up is another thing.. haha... so many things i want to do, but so little time... anyway... nothing much to say now.. so goodnight!~ oh ya... I've almost finished my LA homework, just one brochure and news report left! YES! Maths is a different case.. haha.. nights!~

`+._ hmwk day _.+`

geez... i spent the whole day doing Language Arts hmwk... oh well.. I had my fair share of holidays!
i also spent about an hour on my new skin, hope you guys find it interesting ^^ all comments are welcome!
The song is from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, an awesome musical I saw in London! =D

I'd just been blog reading, and I realized that most of my friends blogs seem to be so down, solem and upset. I wonder if it is a teenager thing. I guess we all do get down many a times in life, but for me, I try to look at the brighter side of things, although it may seem impossible, it is always better to be optimistic than pesimistic. Life is never easy, every family has it's own troubles, worries and problems. However, it is how you embrace your problems that makes the difference. Do not sigh about the things you do not have, instead, appreciate and enjoy the things you do have. You only get to live once, so live it to the fullest ^^After a hard day, instead of being moody and glum, cheer up and tell yourself, "hey, i've gotten through another day, it has been tough, but i made it!" and give yourself a pat on the back =) smile more as you never know what difference a smile can do to those around you. By smiling, you instantly brighten up the atmosphere and make people around you feel better. If you felt like you have done wrong and are dreading the next day, take the next day to be an opportunity to make things right instead of thinking, "oh no.. im so dead". Every little bit of optimism helps. There are many a times I go to bed with a heavy heart, be it the emotional sadness of things currently happening or being troubled with some matters, but the next day, I wake up and realize that it is not really that big of a deal, and my heart feels lighter once more. Some things like the death of a loved one would be extremely hard to enable one to be optimistic, but still, one can and should try. All i'm saying is that you should never let anything in life get you too down and depressed, it is unhealthy and would cause others who love and cherish you to be worried about you. Sometimes you feel as though no one cares about you, but in actual fact, someone does love you, your family, your friends, all care about you and cherish you. By smiling and being optimistic, you can light up your world and their world too.

Goodness.. I sound like some old woman talking about life.. haha, but seriously, life is too short to stay down in the dumps for too long. Live life! Embrace it! okay... now i sound like someone who is off the top. I shall stop here, before I start going on again, hope you guys will feel better soon ^^

`+._ Finally Updated_.+`

Phew, it has been a really tiring term 2 for me, with cheerleading, house com function, OAC and other stuff, my school work has suffered some negligence, studied hard for my tests though, hope that i did relatively well.

Well, Titans is over. I guess we all bonded really well together during Titans for some reason. No offence, but I was doing my best not for mainly Delta, but for OAC, to do OAC proud. Of course, I was also hoping to bring glory to Delta. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Hm.. My 5 individual events record is: 5km run 24th out of 32 ppl ; incline pull-ups zero (how pathetic) ; squat thrusts 50 in 3mins (yay, i beat my previous best) ; sit-ups 97 in 3 mins ; shuttle run... hm... don't remember, all i know that it wasn't good =( . Oh well... if I can take part next year, I shall train, hopefully to get into top 10. After that, we had a OAC get together session outside the dance studio, with all the pass batch OAC seniors, they were all behind us, wanting to listen to our opinions, aha, that was rather intimidating. All of us got so emotional. It's then that I'm so so so sure that as long as the 05/06 batch is around, I'm not quitting OAC. They are my extended family! =D hm... whether I'll stay in OAC for all 4 years... hard to say. I shall not remain in it if I can't get on well with the next batches.

I remember I cried because I couldn't join my J1 seniors for June Camp. *sob* I was... I don't really know how to put it in words, but, it was kind of like, I was afraid that if I didn't go for camp with them, they would move on experiencing something so tough, and I won't fit in anymore, then, there will be no reason to stay in OAC. And I do cherish all my seniors alot =) Well, felt bad also for enjoying myself while my teammates were going to suffer, and I spent the first few days in UK during the Humanities Trip thinking about what they were doing at that time. I'm just glad they are all ok ^^

Hm.. about the UK trip, it was really great, the sites we went to and everything we saw was just so exhilarating and refreshing. Maybe one day when I have time, I'll put together a UK trip journal with all my pictures in it =D Aha, IF I have time. Geez, I wonder when that will be. Just in a summary, we went to so many places like Salisbury, Dorset, Stonehenge, Wells, Oxford, Bath, Shrewsbury and London. I watched 6 shows in London, 2 with the school and 4 with my dad. They were simply AMAZING. I watched 'The Lion King' musical and Shakespeare's Play 'As you Like It' with my school. And the musicals 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang', 'The Phantom of the Opera', 'Mary Poppins' and the ballet 'Romeo and Juliet' with my dad. I loved Chitty best! I bought the soundtrack too! Haha, hey, what can I say, I still have a kid in me, don't we all? =D

The sad thing was that I missed Miss Lim's wedding. Congratulations Miss Lim! =D

Two days after I got back to Singapore, I went to Bintan with my Unick friends Zoe, Yuan Li, John, En Chou and Jun Ji. My mum and John's mum chaperoned us. Thank You! =D Well, I must say, I had high expectations for the trip and couldn't sleep till 4am in the morning. Sadly, I was rather disappointed at first, but things were looking up. The weather was wet on the first day, thankfully clearing up in the late afternoon. We couldn't check in until about 12pm+ Bintan time, and we reached at about 10am+. So we walked around. Once we got a room, 1129, we spend some time in there before heading to check out the Gym. Jun Ji, En Chou and I worked out for more than half an hour. I ran for 13 mins on the treadmill increasing the speed, then cycled 10 mins, 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups. The workout really felt good. We went back to the room and played cards if I didn't remember wrongly. Just being there with my friends made me feel lucky and happy. It has been ages since I've seen them and I really missed them so so much! I really loved their company. Haha, short, fat, ugly, sian dan, xiong dan bao and hm.. we didn't settle on a name for yuan! =P We went swimming and played um... is it called water polo? It's like a game in the pool 1.5m deep with two soccer like nets at the end. It was so so fun! haha, it was tiring though. At night, we played cards and watched TV.

The next day, we had breakfast, loitered in Yuan and Oe's room in the morning before taking a very bumpy 45min drive to a small 'town'. I felt so sick, motion sickness. Well, there's nothing like that town in Singapore. There was nothing there to see, so we asked the driver to bring us somewhere else. Thank Goodness the other place was much nicer. I bought a ring! =D I love it! ^^ Haha~ We went back after bringing back some food from the restaurant. Had little to eat, and waited for En to finish his show before we went to the Gym. No one else wanted to though =( We first ran on the Treadmill for more the 20 mins, then I did 50 push-ups without resting, of course having breaks in push-up position, haha, not that good to do 50 at one go. I wish.. When I got up, My arms were strained. Geez, I'm so out of shape! I know I put on weight in UK with all my food intake! The amount I ate there was rather large... Did those umm pull bar down with arm things? 10 of them for fun. We cycled for about 5 mins, and wanted to do jogging, but... the gym was closing. Oh well, went back, took a shower, had maggie and played cards again! =P I learnt how to play Taiti. =D We all planned to sleep in the same room that night since it was the last night. Oe and yuan fell asleep first. The rest of us couldn't sleep. So talked a little before John suggested going for a walk. Haha, midnight stroll. We walked to the Lobby. I was practically half blind as I forgot to bring my glasses (geez, I keep forgetting stuff these days, not a good sign) and already took off my contacts. It was okay though, haha~ There was really nothing to do, so we played checkers using the Giant Chess Set. After that we slid down the banister (almost lost my balance, it was fun!) Got back to the room, finally could sleep after a long while, sadly, only after John left to go back to his room as it was too squeezy to possibly fall asleep. I must say it was a fun time.

So... Today morning, the weather was GREAT! We couldn't wake early, except Yuan and Oe, who awoke at 7am! Haha, they went for a stroll at the beach, came back, and we were still sleeping. They went for breakfast, waited for more than an hour before we joined them. Thanks for waiting! Heh~ Lazed around in the room before we started going nuts, stealing pillows from each other, jumping on the bed, grabbing blankets and throwing over one another and piling on top of one another. Ha! We kinda turned the room into a pig-sty. Then we left for a swim. Had drinks at the pool bar, but sadly, didn't have enough time for a tan. Oh well =) Went back and washed up before having to leave Bintan... Let's just say, out of this whole trip, I basically loved being with my friends so much~ Wish we could get together more often, sadly, I doubt it's possible. The boat ride was making me giddy again too~ We played Taiti again on the boat, the ride was so long ans the boat went so slowly, oh well.. we couldn't do anything about it! Love you guys Unick! Anyway, it's late now, so... goodnight! =D

`+._ Recount of the Kayaking experience in the Storm _.+`

We weren't initally near the rocks, but since the waves started up so quickly, we were all swept near the rocks. Being a weaker kayaker, I could paddle fast enough and guess what? I capsized. The grand senior and Mr Lim helped me back up; I kayaked a few times, and capsized again. This time, it was rather dangerous. I had completely no idea what to do and I thank goodness that Mr Lim was there. It was the first time I've seen Mr Lim panicking and looking so worried. He shouted through the wind for me to get to the left side of his boat, so I did. He tried to let me get back onto the kayak, but the waves were too strong, it was rather impossible. The rocks were about 2m away only, I was so scared I felt like crying, it was so freaky. Mr Lim manoeuvred his kayak to be perpendicular to the rocks and I was at the front of his kayak, he calmly said that we would be fine and that we had to wait for the storm to blow over before we could do anything. I guess seeing him calm made me compose myself. Though I must say, with the rocks being so near, I was really wondering whether I would survive that storm. I could feel the rocks beneath me and so I figured it would be better for me to walk up it when the waves pushed me nearer to the rocks, I'm so glad I felt the rocks beneath or I would have been cut. The luckiest thing is that there was no thunder and lightening, if there was, I would have been a gone case. After awhile Mr Lim said it would be okay to get back on even though the waves were rather strong and the rain still pelting down. I got back on, paddled like crazy and managed to get back! After the whole thing, it was a rather exciting experience. I learnt that in times like this, you have to keep calm in order to survive it, and you have to trust whoever is helping you. It was a most memorable experience yet, one I would not care to experience again, but I’m glad I went through it and got back unscathed. And I would like to thank Mr Lim and the Grand senior for safely helping me get through the whole adventure.

`+._ sO tIrEd.. _.+`

Hi all =D Well... Nothing much happened on Thursday.. The only thing is that I got a sore throat.. *complain*. Now I still have it.. I can't sing and it's kind of depressing. Friday, I wanted to go along with my seniors to watch a movie, but my mum said I had to study and if I went, I was to be back by 6.30pm. So i figured I wouldn't go since I didn't think i would be able to be back by then. Ironically, Mr Bala asked me to go to the Hall for a 'brief' moment to take snapshots for IP open house TV media thing. That 'brief' moment ended up to be 3 over hours. Geez... I was so irritated.. I could have gone for the movie instead. I completed some maths. Wandered around school. Well.. I'll be on TV i guess.. Ha, I was supposed to talk, and suddenly smile at the camera. Sure felt weird. Yesterday was so so fun! I had OAC. =P First we assembled at Lavender MRT, then we did warm ups at the Sea Sports Club (SSC). Jogged and stopped to do pull-ups. We had to do 200 in total as a group. My goodness... HAha... Guys, jia you with your pull-ups ok?? Girls with support is counted as one. Guys with support counted as 1/3 a pullup. I think the seniors want to train up the guys. Must do OAC proud in the titans ok?? haha. After that was kayaking! We kayaked to East Coast. The trip there was ok... Thanks to those who waited for me. Heh.. I was slow... Once we got there, we ate standard lunch and then did some team bonding games. First, we attempted the dragon pumping.. Well, at least this time we got up for awhile! I think i fell too many times... I feel so bad.. =( I was at a funny angle, couldn't get Yan Ling's legs to rest properly without my arms giving way.. Okay... I'll train that up, don't want to let the others down again. Next team bonding game was... dog and bone! haha, our legs were all tied up together and then both teams struggled for the 'bone'. That was so funny! After the team bonding games, we went to Big Splash! The first time round, I could not go down quick enough. Make that couldn’t go down at all.. haha... I wonder what I did wrong.. 2nd round at least a little better~ Sadly.. After that we had to kayak back.. I felt so so tired when kayaking back and was struggling to keep the kayak going in a straight line. Just when we were almost reaching Kallang, a sea storm blew up. My goodness.. It was my most thrilling 'adventure' yet. I will recount the event in the next post. After the whole thing, I was so so tired.. My arms were worn out after the storm and I still had to rush for dance class. It was good. I still love it. The sad thing is that I'm burnt and radiating heat. Haha.. I must put more sunblock next time. We had a mother's day dinner at the Japanese restaurant where my Dance school was. When I got back home, my Dad got me a new phone!!! Haha, Thank you Dad!!! 6170! I'm waiting to learn how to use the media player... I shall ask my friends tomorrow. So... today, nothing much.. Went to the doctor, had tuition, went to my father's mother's place for mother's day lunch, came back, had a nap, revised maths, going to grandfather's place for dinner. All in all, I must say I love this weekend! Cheerios for now~ stay happy ^^

`+._ nEw LayOuT_.+`

hi =D Haha... today was projects day.. I felt so lazy.. but while waiting for Eugene to come, I decided to change the whole layout.. In the end, i managed to edit my blog to satisfaction finally after... 6 hrs... haha... thanks to Eugene for his help. Thanks to the designer of the original design too~ I'm not good enough to create a blog all on my own. Haha.. all comments are welcome. I really want to make this blog look nicer =D Seeyou all soon!!

`+._ fEeLiNg DoWn _.+`

Hi everyone... I guess now with such a hectic schedule going on, I would not have time to dwell on little little troubles that occur everyday. But when they all come together, I guess you can get a little depressed. I just really need to write this all out, but I don't feel like using my diary. I do not know why, but, I feel so troubled and there's this dead weight I can't seem to remove from my heart. I feel like crying it all out, but I can't seem to. If you people out there think this is about a boy, I wish it was so simple. Ever since I've came to TJC, I've been loving the life I've been living. No matter how busy I am, I still try to do my best. In TMS, my best was always good enough for me. However, now in TJC, I feel as though my best is no longer anywhere near good enough.. Compared to all those in the IP programme, I tend to always ask myself, 'Was I really good enough to get into this programme? How could it be?' The teachers say that failing is a normal thing right now, since we are still adjusting to the new system and college life. However, I still cannot see past what they say. My results haven't been at their best since I've come here, and concepts like Maths and Chemistry are extremely hard to absorb in. I feel so dumb sometimes when I can't understand things. I know it may sound as though I really dislike the IP programme. No, I don't. And I have no intention of quitting it either. I'm going to continue working hard at it till I succeed. Ever since my grandfather passed away, things have changed so much. Home is no longer like a retreat, it feels as though something is always missing. Whenever, my grandmother is around, her state always reminds me that my grandfather is no longer there. She never used to fuss about me as much as she does now. There are just some things in the family going on now that I really wish are going to be over with. OAC. I love it. It's one of the things now which helps me deal with all this nonesense going on. We have it almost 3-4 times a week and I love being around all my seniors. The only things is the time we end. My grandmother and mother are not happy about me coming home late. I shall not comment there. However, as much as I love OAC, there's still a thing in which I find seperating. The juniors are still 2 years older than me. I guess I still cannot really immerse myself into their conversations yet and sometimes I guess I kind of feel not together as one with them. I hope this feeling goes soon. Aside from that, OAC is the best thing in school to me right now. I will not quit it no matter what whoever says. It's at times like this when I really miss my friends in Temasek Secondary. I really want to meet up with them soon, but there's always no time.. I can't wait for the June trip to Bintan with Unick. I'll just stop here.. Phew, I got it all out, my heart feels a little lighter now, there's however still something which all teens worry about, I think that it's a really minor thing currently, so, another day =) See you all around ^^

`+._ tItAnS tRaInInG _.+`

Hi! I'm feeling so energized and fresh after a bath. Titans training for some reason was rather fun.. Tiring, but fun =D Geez, I've never ran so much at one go before... 5km... with backpack... haha.. my timing was so bad.. I took 52 + mins to run that distance! Then my head suddenly felt so light and every step i took, i felt like i was going to faint. I had to sit out on shuttle run to clear my head~ Next was situps... I was rather disappointed in myself though... Our target was 100 situps in 3 minutes.. I only did 96.. missed by 4!!! Oh well... I'm going to train till I can do 120. For squat thrusts, my results were rather pathetic... 27 in 3 minutes... for inclined pull-ups, even worse... 2 only!!! I wish the bar was higher, like the one is secondary school.. haha, things would be so much easier.. I had better train up for inclined pull-ups and squat thrusts... =D I don't know why, but as the days pass, I'm loving OAC more and more and more!! I really feel like part of the family now, and it's a great feeling. So friends who aren't in OAC, stop asking me why I'm so 'into' OAC, I seriously do not have an answer. I just really do like it! I especially love the Tower *grin* Well, after today's Titans session, I have been very motivated to train up and improve for some reason~ Anyway... I'll do my personal best and hope to at least get top 10... though that's really tough.. hey, I've got 3 more years =P haha, goodluck for the upcoming tests everyone!!! GoOdNiGhT!!! ^^

`+._ NeVeReNdInG _.+`

Geez... my school work seems to be never ending... after homework is complete, there are group projects, after one project, there is another, after that, there are tests.. I'm so dead... Oh well.. I'll try my best..~ Goodluck to all those who are having trouble coping too... nights everyone =) take care~

`+._GuEsS wHaT?!? =D _.+`

Hiii everyone!!! Im really so so sorry for not updating.. truly I am.. Haha, okay, since I have some time now, I shall update on all that has been going on.. About the Temasek Acadamy Student's Council elections, I didn't get in, phew, what a relief.. I don't think I would be able to cope.. The house function was kinda ok... I wish the atmosphere was livelier though..

And guess what else? DELTA WON CHEERLEADING!!!! All our practices were WORTH IT!!! For the week of the cheer competitions, we trained till about 10+ 11pm every night.. Geez.. I was so so tired.. However, through all this, we bonded as a team, and I miss everyone... =( And even better still, Delta won all 4 trophies!!! That was just an awesome day for us..

The next day, which was the 16th of April, I had actually scheduled a Harry Potter meetup, everything was planned nicely, when I found out that there was the Kayaking Course that weekend. Oh well, OAC is more important.. After Kayaking on Saturday, I went for Flamenco, and I was so dead tired.. My eyes were bloodshot and I had to wait for my mum's class to end till 10+pm.. I used my Flamenco skirt to cover my legs, and slept on the dance floor. My dance teacher, Angel, was so sweet.. He took another skirt and covered my upperbody and took 2 cushions for my head, such a caring and sweet teacher he is! These are the things that make me feel warm and happy inside. Sunday was another day of Kayaking, and I obtained my 1st Star in Kayaking! YAY =D The Year 1 Oacians went for dinner at bugis and I was literally falling asleep standing. Haha, the next day, I was like a zombie in class! Mr Lim also looked so tired (he was our kayaking instructor)

Tuesday was the TOWER!! yay!! I learnt how to set it up! I love the tower, it rocks! Wednesday was OAC training, and I was so worried that we would have to have Titans training, but we had camp craft instead. Geez, by the end of it, my hands stung and the skin felt like it was going to come out.. Ouch.. But it was still good.. Then thursday... HIPHOP!!! I miss it.. We are learning a new dance, there's so many twists and turns of the body, it's rather hard to master.. And I didn't go for lesson the previous week because of cheerleading, therefore I was a little behind the rest, but i still loved it. Finally, the day came which i could go home early.. FRIDAY! haha, wow, chances to go home early are really rare.. I watched abit of Gilmore Girls.. It's a really good series.

Okay, now to talk about today.. Let me see, we met at the sports complex at 8am, and set off for oreinteering. My goodness, we walked from bedok to newton. haha, my feet were aching... What I love most about OAC is that it's like one big family.. I really enjoy my friend's company in OAC.. Now that we practice so often, we have bonded closer, I love it! Now I look forward to OAC practices so so much... From bugis, I took the MRT to Queenstown for Flamenco.. The minute I had to do the Sepitiados (Leg Movements which include stamping on high heels), this flashed through my mind: "OH my GOodNESs.. This Hurts like crazy!!!". Haha, but I still love it and went through class, and now.. I can't walk without it hurting like crazy.. I hope it would recover overnight.. Oh well.. That's all I have to say today.. I'm so tired... Goodnight everyone! Sleep tight..

`+._ HI!!! _.+`

So sorry everyone, heh, I've been super busy..
Let me just list out the things i've been busy with, i really don't have time for writing long detailed posts =P

* Temasek Acadamy Student Council Nominations
-Mass Dance Practices
-Hustings
-Introductions

* House Committee Internship: planning for annual house function
-Decorations committee

*Cheerleading
-Competitions coming up this friday in my school!!! All who can come to support please do ya??? THANKS!!! Support DELTA! (our house name) It's definately a competition worth seeing =P It's like those Bring it On competitions, though of course, our stunts aren't as complicated as theirs.

Hm.. all add up? I've been coming back at 8+pm at night, and, sleeping past midnight... 4+hours of sleep everyday.. Geez, Thank Goodness I can rest after the cheer competitions, Council Nominations is over, House function is over! Thanks again to Ryan for coming to perform for us! You were great!

Upcoming week's timetable =

Cheerleading:
Monday --> 4 - 9 pm
Tuesday --> 6 - 10 pm
Wednesday --> OAC
Thursday --> 4 - quite late pm =P

Haha, great, and I have a Chem test on Friday.. I'm so dead.. Oh well...
No matter what, I still love my life now, no matter how busy it is, i feel it is rather productive... I'll post a more indepth entry another day~ seriously, I need to start on my homework, haha, see you! Take care all! =D

HoLiDaYs!!!

Hi everyone! ^^ I'm so sorry for not blogging for the whole of last week. Thanks to all my friends who wished me happy birthday on the actual day =D Love you all! I'm so glad last week is over, it was mentally exhausting to me. Ha, that was the first time I had to study for a test on my birthday, wonderful. We went to have sushi at esplande for dinner though, that was nice. I bought the Harry Potter time-turner, the even more intricate and original one, one from the noble collection. I exhanged with them the previous one. Thanks to mum for the time-turner!!! We had our electives and as usual last week, ended early, but we couldn't leave until 12pm and as we had tests in the afternoon, we couldn't go back home early either. I found last week so stressful, the tests.. I guess this is the result of being the pioneer IP batch, everything is rather messy. We don't even understand the topics properly. Hopefully, they will do something to change it. Last Friday and Saturday, TJC had Temasek Idol, and TMS has Music is it!. Haha, they are both about the same thing, both are talent competitions. I saw 3 outstanding performances I must comment on though, Charles performed in Temasek Idol, beatboxing and singing at the same time. AWESOME. However, Ryan was just as good as him! Aimran sang beautifully too. Gosh, those 2 days were tiring for me for some reason, though the getting ready for those functions was really fun! Haha. Sunday... I went to buy new running shoes and... Went for DISNEY ON ICE!!! It was fabulous. Amazing. Incredible. Awesome. Yeah yeah, I know it's a kiddy show, my parents were teasing me about that, but hey! I like Disney. It was 7 of the Princess fairy tales performed. One exerpt from each show. Awesome. And the male skaters (Prince Charmings) were really good looking! Haha. They all skated brilliantly. I'm in awe of them. The ability to skate and glide so gracefully across the ice and even do stunts in the air. When the girls twirled, their skirts flared out beautifully. What's more, it was oh so romantic... Couple by couple danced... So nice... At the end when all the couples were to come out, they were all dressed in champagne, white and gold colours. Wow. It was incredibly beautiful... I loved it. Monday... Hm... Oh yes, I started watching this Korean Drama called 'Huang Tai Zi and Chu Lian'. I slept at 2.30am trying to rush the story, but couldn't finish it and had to go to sleep.. I went to ICA today to apply for my IC. Yay, I'm getting my IC ^^ I better not lose it.. Haha~ I went back to my grandmothers house and continued the Korean Drama, had to go for tuition in between and then finally managed to finish the show at 6+pm. It was a dumb ending. Dumb. That kind of ending is just absolutely not possible in real life. Even my mother agrees. Grrrr. Oh well, as long as I imagine the other couple to be together, who cares. The pair that ended up together is just so... wrong. Something weird happened, the story wasn't well-written. *sigh* Good dramas should have believable endings. Anyway, I'm so tired... Going to bed soon. Goodnight! =D

My Birthday Party: Fun, Sun and Sea!

Hi everyone!!! Today was very fun! I had my Birthday party. I went to East Coast earlier with John and Jun Ji to blade and cycle before meeting the rest. It felt great to get back to blading. Though I wasn't really good. I don't even know how to stop. I can only blade on level gounds. It was still fun. John and I bladed and Jun Ji cycled to Bedok Jetty from MacDonalds. The view from the jetty was real nice.. We should go more often! Haha. Around 4+pm, the others came. At first, I was kind of worried cause everyone was so quiet... Not mingling. Then after cutting the cake, some of us went into the sea, some stayed near the sea and a certain couple *hint* disappeared for awhile =P haha. Oh ya. Thanks ALOT for the presents guys. Thanks to Zoe, Yuan, Cad, John, JJ, Lee, En and Kang for the soft toy and card. The soft toy is sooooo cute!!! It is currently sitting and looking at me ^^ Thanks to Justin for the sand art and thanks to Lumpy and Kirby for the bottle! We played in the sea up till about 6+pm, then went for dinner. By that time, only Yuan, Lumpy, Jun Ji, Lee Keat and Justin were left. Haha, for some reason, Justin couldn't stop talking nonesense the whole day! But I'm glad for that, it created the fun atmosphere. Thanks alot boon ^^ After dinner, we went back to the beach, lay out the mat and stared at the stars and talked. It was so fun!!! Then Justin and Lee Keat did some breakdance moves, so cool! I couldn't dance properly on the sand though. We played music and sang along, moved to the beat till about 10pm. We didn't feel like going home, but... My dad picked us up to send us home. Surprisingly, he gave us all his coins to go and have dessert!!! Thank you Dad!!! We ate till about 11pm and all went home. It was so so fun today, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves as much as I did!!! Thanks alot to mum and dad for helping me organise this birthday!! Love you guys!!! Goodnight!

Drained emotionally

Hi again everyone ^^ Well, today was... Quite tough for me. My grandfather's 49 days prayer send off was today and everything reminded me of him. Lots of tears were shed. Then I went back to school at around 6+pm to watch the Gamma House hiphop thing. I guess I went too early. I met John to pass him something, and ended up showing him my school, walking aimlessly. It's funny how some people can just talk to you or you just talk to them, even about everyday stuff, and you get cheered up, I guess it takes your mind away from the pain. Thanks alot John, haha, you unknowingly made me feel better. I guess a teenager's life is full of roller coasters, but in a way, it's a journey I'm glad to be going through. It's the experience that I find makes me more matured every time. I decided to go back to my grandmother's house for dinner before heading back for the performance. At my grandmother's house, I broke down. I went to the toilet to cry. The house reminds me so much of him. Every part of it. I couldn't imagine not seeing him do the normal everyday things he did and giving me warm hugs or telling me how proud he is of me. My relatives all say that he loved me the most, and that I was worth his love. Everytime they say that, tears fall. I miss him so much. I wish he could have lived for 5 more years. It was not his time... He was so healthy.. ='( Oh well, enough of this wishing. Nothing I do now can bring him back. I just have to face it. I went back to school around 9pm and watched the hiphop/band performance. It was quite cool. I didn't know I had schoolmates who could dance hiphop and breakdance so well. I was quite impressed. Though I felt the odd one out, my friends didn't come along, it was still enjoyable. Well, going to east coast earlier tomorrow before my party to blade/cycle with John and Jun Ji. I'll update more tomorrow then! Goodnight!~

Moving On

Hi everyone ^^ Sorry I haven't updated here for more than a month. I updated on my xanga site in February though. I hope you guys like the new layout of my homepage and this page, I spent 2 days re-doing it! Haha.. Anyway, life has been the roughest I have ever gone through recently, the decease of my Grandfather, the type of emotional control I had to establish and learn to live with, the disagreements between generations now that we are living under one roof for the time being. It is so suffocating. I know that there is more change in my life for me to come in the near future, I have a gut feeling about it. I just got to learn to accept it and face it. Recently in school, we have been studying a Literature book called, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Well, the book itself is very entertaining, however, it is also a very complex text. It makes me wonder whether the authors are purposely writing all those things to make us think so hard, or that they were simply innocently writing an imaginative story. Haha. The book discussed the Human Nature. Are we innately good or evil? Even I don't know about that myself. People show the part of them that they want the people around them to have an impression, an impression that that is who they are. But are they really? I'm quite sure we each know who are we, in a sense, who is our individual, but who is our self? There is a beast within every man that can explode out. It just relies on the situation and how the society one lives in shapes the person. Okay, enough of that. So far, I must say that the workload for us is quite heavy, I rarely have time to myself and come home late almost everyday, it's so tiring... Oh well.. Projects, tests, assignments, Geez. The amusing thing is, the teacher decided to be nice to us, therefore they postponed the test. And since all the teachers were kind, the tests are all at the last two weeks, haha. Anyway, we are having electives week now, and I'm studying Sci-fiction and fantasy. It rocks! Haha~ But it is freaky to know what our world would become like if robots took over the world. It is extremely daunting and disturbing. We watched Animatrix today. Gosh, it was so disturbing, using humans as a source of their power. *shudder* And so far all the fantasy and sci-fi movies Mr Tan has shown us all consists of war, killing, blood here and there, swords, shields, piercing the human skin. *ouch* I looked through my fingers for those scenes. Geez. I love Harry Potter so much more. At least when they kill, you are still whole. The Avada Kedavra curse takes the life out of you, but does not slice you up. We learnt the definations and all that for sci-fi and fantasy, it's really interesting. And now, OAC, or rather, Outdoor Activities Club, my PDP aka CCA. I love it loads, looks forward to every training, but Oh my God, it is so tough. I still can't believe I trekked from Bukit Timah Nature Reserve to MacRitchie Reservior, 11km. I wonder how I survived it with 5 1.5litre bottles in my bag after climbing the hill twice. But we had to train for the overseas trip to Kalantan in March, I'm not going, but my seniors are. Yesterday's training was tough, we carried army bags with a sandbag and 2 water bottles in it, ran to the HDB flats opposite and climb the stairs. 24 storeys. First time, my timing was 7.49 min, 2nd time was 7.32 min. I am so glad about my timing. Though sorry to my partner, held him back so much. Heh. While we were waiting, we did push-ups, sit-ups, squats, burpees and jumping jacks. So many of them, more than I've ever done in my life. Ha, since I started OAC, there have never been one day in which my body doesn't ache. But I still love it. I hope the JC1s won't quit or leave the school =( I like all of my seniors loads ^^ The JC2 seniors are really strict with us during training, but I guess there is a need for that. I still have fun =P After the stairs training, we washed up the bags and played basketball! Some of the JC2 seniors joined us, as well as our teacher-in-charge, Mr Lim. There were lots of laughs. Then came the punishment, I couldn't breathe properly, that is scary, the 2nd time already. I have never experienced that before I joined OAC. But I'm NOT quitting, I like it too much! =D haha, who would have guessed that I would be in this kind of CCA in JC. I would have laughed at you if you told me that last year. Ha. Okay, I don't think I have anything else to say. I'll try to update more often, but JC life is so busy, no time. Haha, Cheerios all! =)

*note* apologies to those who thought I was using Christ as a swear word. Didn't mean it in that way at all.

`+._ sOrRoW _.+`



Hi all.. Sorry I haven't been updating.. Well, my grandfather passed away on Saturday. I was heartbroken. He brought me up since young and we saw each other everyday. He was such a big part of my life... It pains me to finally say goodbye to him. But now I have learnt to accept it and keep him in my heart, but i miss him so so so much... I can still imagine him doing what he usually does.. Thanks goodness my memories of him now are of all the good times we shared before he got ill. Even up to now, his death still feels surreal to me. It's like I expect him to walk into the room and say, 'ah sian ah, bang wo ying ze ge ke yi ma?' I feel like crying everytime. Everywhere holds his memories. He thought me how to do so many things and loved me unconditionally. He used to bring me around to so many places, school, the library, shopping centres, food courts, market. Such a big part of my life has gone. But at least he is not suffering now... Even as I'm typing, tears are falling, I miss him so much... Life will never be the same, but I'll have to start anew and accept it. This is a first time experience and eye opener for me.. Today we went to collect his ashes. What an experience.. His bones were brown on the inside due to cancer. The sending of and collecting of ahses today were painful, but not as painful as the day he passed away. I miss him and will always remember him and love him. Ah Kong, Wo Ai Ni .

`+._ cLaSsRoOm DeSiGn WoRkShOp _.+`



Hi! The last time I updated was on Monday if i'm not wrong. Lots have happened since then, especially on the design of the classroom. The second day of the workshop we went to this place called SOHO (small office, home office) to get design ideas. The show flats were GORGEOUS. I loved it, so did my classmates. It was soooo cool. Since it was a office plus home, the bed was on a raised platform, like attic style (have pics in my xanga site), so awesome!!! But the discussion was hell. The whole class couldn't come to an agreement on what we should have done. I lost my voice then. -.- So sad, now I'm having both cough and sore throat. For some reason, I get cough so often, it's so sickening. Finally when some people left, and only a few remained, we came to the concept we liked to call, the treehouse concept. We wanted to make the class as homely and comfortable as possible. We were going to paint the back walls from dark green to light green, the right and left side wall in stripes in different shades of brown for the top part, and dark wood for the bottom part. The front where the whiteboard was would be the colour called "just peachy". The floors were a major issue, we wanted linoleum flooring, but it would cost about $1,800. That was alllooottt. About 9000 HK. The budget went waaay overcost, so we settle with painting the floor, though we didn't really like the idea. The next day we went to IKEA. Scouted for affordable yet condusive furniture, but we weren't given much time, so everything was very rushed. Once we went back, we started on making the mock-up version of how our classroom would be like (pics in xanga). We worked till 7pm. Today, we worked on our mock-up classroom once again till about 11.30am. I was in-charge of mock-up, so we concentrated on that. I'm quite proud to say that my team mates did a good job, I'm proud of what we accomplished. At around 1.10pm, the presentations for all 5 classes to present their idea for the class was held. Let's just say I didnt know where to hide my face for my group's presentation. We were hoping that the mock-up presentation would give us time to let those who know the mock-up settings to explain it. Sadly, we were only given 5 minutes, we couldn't present anything!!! =( In the end, we just got consolation prize. The group whose seating arrangements were in a huge X formation won. That group was soooo sucking up to the judges, we were revolted. But looks like it helped them win. Personally, we all preferred our classroom. I guess it's a definate. We suited the class to how the people in the class would like it. I still love our class the best. While the judges were deciding on the results, we were to go and see our PDPs(co-curricular-activities). I signed up for Dance, Outdoor Activities Club(OAC) and Astronomy Club. Our teacher recommends only 1 PDP though... I think I'll go for OAC, it's the most interesting. Hiking, climbing mountains, kayaking, interacting with nature, oh bliss!!! ^^ Hopefully I can also take up astronomy... It's on Friday nights(groan, no going out)... Oh well, see first!!! =) These few days besides the class design thing has been a very emotional rollercoaster for me. Some people will know what I mean. Let's just say a relative is sick. I've been crying so much my eyes get puffy and sore in the mornings. But life must go on, I have to be strong. I'll end here, check out the pictures in my xanga web!! ^^