`+._ fEeLiNg DoWn _.+`

Hi everyone... I guess now with such a hectic schedule going on, I would not have time to dwell on little little troubles that occur everyday. But when they all come together, I guess you can get a little depressed. I just really need to write this all out, but I don't feel like using my diary. I do not know why, but, I feel so troubled and there's this dead weight I can't seem to remove from my heart. I feel like crying it all out, but I can't seem to. If you people out there think this is about a boy, I wish it was so simple. Ever since I've came to TJC, I've been loving the life I've been living. No matter how busy I am, I still try to do my best. In TMS, my best was always good enough for me. However, now in TJC, I feel as though my best is no longer anywhere near good enough.. Compared to all those in the IP programme, I tend to always ask myself, 'Was I really good enough to get into this programme? How could it be?' The teachers say that failing is a normal thing right now, since we are still adjusting to the new system and college life. However, I still cannot see past what they say. My results haven't been at their best since I've come here, and concepts like Maths and Chemistry are extremely hard to absorb in. I feel so dumb sometimes when I can't understand things. I know it may sound as though I really dislike the IP programme. No, I don't. And I have no intention of quitting it either. I'm going to continue working hard at it till I succeed. Ever since my grandfather passed away, things have changed so much. Home is no longer like a retreat, it feels as though something is always missing. Whenever, my grandmother is around, her state always reminds me that my grandfather is no longer there. She never used to fuss about me as much as she does now. There are just some things in the family going on now that I really wish are going to be over with. OAC. I love it. It's one of the things now which helps me deal with all this nonesense going on. We have it almost 3-4 times a week and I love being around all my seniors. The only things is the time we end. My grandmother and mother are not happy about me coming home late. I shall not comment there. However, as much as I love OAC, there's still a thing in which I find seperating. The juniors are still 2 years older than me. I guess I still cannot really immerse myself into their conversations yet and sometimes I guess I kind of feel not together as one with them. I hope this feeling goes soon. Aside from that, OAC is the best thing in school to me right now. I will not quit it no matter what whoever says. It's at times like this when I really miss my friends in Temasek Secondary. I really want to meet up with them soon, but there's always no time.. I can't wait for the June trip to Bintan with Unick. I'll just stop here.. Phew, I got it all out, my heart feels a little lighter now, there's however still something which all teens worry about, I think that it's a really minor thing currently, so, another day =) See you all around ^^

`+._ tItAnS tRaInInG _.+`

Hi! I'm feeling so energized and fresh after a bath. Titans training for some reason was rather fun.. Tiring, but fun =D Geez, I've never ran so much at one go before... 5km... with backpack... haha.. my timing was so bad.. I took 52 + mins to run that distance! Then my head suddenly felt so light and every step i took, i felt like i was going to faint. I had to sit out on shuttle run to clear my head~ Next was situps... I was rather disappointed in myself though... Our target was 100 situps in 3 minutes.. I only did 96.. missed by 4!!! Oh well... I'm going to train till I can do 120. For squat thrusts, my results were rather pathetic... 27 in 3 minutes... for inclined pull-ups, even worse... 2 only!!! I wish the bar was higher, like the one is secondary school.. haha, things would be so much easier.. I had better train up for inclined pull-ups and squat thrusts... =D I don't know why, but as the days pass, I'm loving OAC more and more and more!! I really feel like part of the family now, and it's a great feeling. So friends who aren't in OAC, stop asking me why I'm so 'into' OAC, I seriously do not have an answer. I just really do like it! I especially love the Tower *grin* Well, after today's Titans session, I have been very motivated to train up and improve for some reason~ Anyway... I'll do my personal best and hope to at least get top 10... though that's really tough.. hey, I've got 3 more years =P haha, goodluck for the upcoming tests everyone!!! GoOdNiGhT!!! ^^

`+._ NeVeReNdInG _.+`

Geez... my school work seems to be never ending... after homework is complete, there are group projects, after one project, there is another, after that, there are tests.. I'm so dead... Oh well.. I'll try my best..~ Goodluck to all those who are having trouble coping too... nights everyone =) take care~

`+._GuEsS wHaT?!? =D _.+`

Hiii everyone!!! Im really so so sorry for not updating.. truly I am.. Haha, okay, since I have some time now, I shall update on all that has been going on.. About the Temasek Acadamy Student's Council elections, I didn't get in, phew, what a relief.. I don't think I would be able to cope.. The house function was kinda ok... I wish the atmosphere was livelier though..

And guess what else? DELTA WON CHEERLEADING!!!! All our practices were WORTH IT!!! For the week of the cheer competitions, we trained till about 10+ 11pm every night.. Geez.. I was so so tired.. However, through all this, we bonded as a team, and I miss everyone... =( And even better still, Delta won all 4 trophies!!! That was just an awesome day for us..

The next day, which was the 16th of April, I had actually scheduled a Harry Potter meetup, everything was planned nicely, when I found out that there was the Kayaking Course that weekend. Oh well, OAC is more important.. After Kayaking on Saturday, I went for Flamenco, and I was so dead tired.. My eyes were bloodshot and I had to wait for my mum's class to end till 10+pm.. I used my Flamenco skirt to cover my legs, and slept on the dance floor. My dance teacher, Angel, was so sweet.. He took another skirt and covered my upperbody and took 2 cushions for my head, such a caring and sweet teacher he is! These are the things that make me feel warm and happy inside. Sunday was another day of Kayaking, and I obtained my 1st Star in Kayaking! YAY =D The Year 1 Oacians went for dinner at bugis and I was literally falling asleep standing. Haha, the next day, I was like a zombie in class! Mr Lim also looked so tired (he was our kayaking instructor)

Tuesday was the TOWER!! yay!! I learnt how to set it up! I love the tower, it rocks! Wednesday was OAC training, and I was so worried that we would have to have Titans training, but we had camp craft instead. Geez, by the end of it, my hands stung and the skin felt like it was going to come out.. Ouch.. But it was still good.. Then thursday... HIPHOP!!! I miss it.. We are learning a new dance, there's so many twists and turns of the body, it's rather hard to master.. And I didn't go for lesson the previous week because of cheerleading, therefore I was a little behind the rest, but i still loved it. Finally, the day came which i could go home early.. FRIDAY! haha, wow, chances to go home early are really rare.. I watched abit of Gilmore Girls.. It's a really good series.

Okay, now to talk about today.. Let me see, we met at the sports complex at 8am, and set off for oreinteering. My goodness, we walked from bedok to newton. haha, my feet were aching... What I love most about OAC is that it's like one big family.. I really enjoy my friend's company in OAC.. Now that we practice so often, we have bonded closer, I love it! Now I look forward to OAC practices so so much... From bugis, I took the MRT to Queenstown for Flamenco.. The minute I had to do the Sepitiados (Leg Movements which include stamping on high heels), this flashed through my mind: "OH my GOodNESs.. This Hurts like crazy!!!". Haha, but I still love it and went through class, and now.. I can't walk without it hurting like crazy.. I hope it would recover overnight.. Oh well.. That's all I have to say today.. I'm so tired... Goodnight everyone! Sleep tight..

`+._ HI!!! _.+`

So sorry everyone, heh, I've been super busy..
Let me just list out the things i've been busy with, i really don't have time for writing long detailed posts =P

* Temasek Acadamy Student Council Nominations
-Mass Dance Practices
-Hustings
-Introductions

* House Committee Internship: planning for annual house function
-Decorations committee

*Cheerleading
-Competitions coming up this friday in my school!!! All who can come to support please do ya??? THANKS!!! Support DELTA! (our house name) It's definately a competition worth seeing =P It's like those Bring it On competitions, though of course, our stunts aren't as complicated as theirs.

Hm.. all add up? I've been coming back at 8+pm at night, and, sleeping past midnight... 4+hours of sleep everyday.. Geez, Thank Goodness I can rest after the cheer competitions, Council Nominations is over, House function is over! Thanks again to Ryan for coming to perform for us! You were great!

Upcoming week's timetable =

Cheerleading:
Monday --> 4 - 9 pm
Tuesday --> 6 - 10 pm
Wednesday --> OAC
Thursday --> 4 - quite late pm =P

Haha, great, and I have a Chem test on Friday.. I'm so dead.. Oh well...
No matter what, I still love my life now, no matter how busy it is, i feel it is rather productive... I'll post a more indepth entry another day~ seriously, I need to start on my homework, haha, see you! Take care all! =D