My Fairytale Fantasy

hmm... i dunno how im feeling now... just went for dance by myself.. realized i've been taking lot of public transport on my own these days.. lol.. i am pampered in that aspect i know.. my mum's not in town now.. miss her.. hai.. going through what im experiencing now.. I really understand that a lot of people interpret things from what they see on the surface. My primary and secondary school friends thought i had a seemingly rich family. Strike one! Seemingly happy family, Strike 2! Am very pampered and blah blah, Strike 3!! You're out! So dun make stupid conclusions without solid evidence. *makes face* but i shall be contetn with what i have. I am. I just wish some things were different.. hai... ok, a lot of things.. I heard something that day, and it just amazes me how some people can do things behind other people's back, admit they're wrong, and in the end, turn back and say they didn't do anything wrong. This is called, going back on one's word, and whoever does these kind of things.. i can't find a proper word to describe these kind of people. No integrity? Low? Selfish? I don't know... these words don't seem harsh enough.
not worth respecting i must say. I want my childhood back. I want the pure, happy and carefree days back.. it's 10.. my study schedule has more or less been met today.. i hate studying alone.. its so so so boring! then my mind will drift and drift.. =( i need someone to make me feel happy and carefree like i used to feel.. where is that someone? does he/she even exist? hai.. i miss my mummy... is it exam blues? or just plain not happy? this is so unlike me... I don't usually mope, i don't usually sigh, i don't usually cry. even dance doesn't make me feel happy and full of life anymore... only being with people who cheer me up can.. blah... but that is something unavoidable i guess.. if u know my current situation.. I don't think many know.. It's not something i would love to share. But if u analyze close enough and know me quite well.. I'm sure u can see where my troubles lie.. oh well.. i'll try to make the next post a cheery one.. adios..