My Fairytale Fantasy

blah... haven't updated for a long time.. kind of.. had kayaking today after a long time... actually had a lot to blog about.. but suddenly... no mood at all.. hai.. i dunno... why must things be so complicated? wht cant things just be straightforward and simple!!! So many things happening now.. so many things that I am unsure of and excited yet apprehensive about. What the hell. Promos in about 6 weeks. I am so dead. Spending alot of time with the yr 1 oacians now.. enjoying myself.. but missing my batch so so much as well... I dunno how to describe how im feeling now.. Maybe it's because Im just too annoyingly sensitive and constantly trying to interpret things from actions and words. I feel so.. not in the mood to do anything but just sit and stare and stone. WHAT is wrong with me. SOMEONE tell me why i feel like this. PLEASE? I hate this kind of feeling. Why must this kind of feeling exist? I need to concentrate! I can't keep getting distracted. feel like crying the feeling away.. but i don't even know why i feel like that, so how on earth am i supposed to cry it away? ah darn it. darn darn darn darn darn it. I hate complicated things which are directly linked to me. Why cant things just be simpler. easy. no problems. no down feelings. no hurt feelings. no lingering feelings. no longing feelings. no need for thinking of the future. being able to just do what i like without thinking about the consequences. just living the way i want to live my life. i love oac. and all my down feelings always seem to be because of oac. but i wouldn't have it any other way i guess. hai. what a downheartening entry. i shall cheer up the next time.. byebye..